Guides
The vengeance filter
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” Romans 12:19
Notice what this verse actually says. The reckoning belongs to God. Romans 13 says He administers part of it through the governing authorities. Wrongs still matter, and there will be an accounting. Here is the practical distinction for a litigant.
- Justice seeks a defined remedy through the correct channel: an accurate order, enforced support, protected custody, an honest record. It can state exactly what cure it wants, and it is satisfied when the cure is granted.
- Vengeance seeks the other person's suffering, humiliation, or ruin. It has no defined endpoint and is never satisfied. It will spend the children's college fund on one more round.
Run every proposed motion, email, and declaration through two questions before you file or send it:
- What is the defined remedy this seeks?
- Would I drop it if that remedy were granted tomorrow?
If there's no honest answer to the first question, or the answer to the second is no, that is worth sitting with before you proceed.