Guides
Forgiveness that does not waive rights
Learn this distinction early and repeat it to yourself often. Someone will eventually tell you that a real Christian would forgive and drop this. They are wrong about what forgiveness requires.
Forgiveness is: releasing your claim to personal vengeance; refusing to nurse hatred; praying for the other person's repentance and good, even through gritted teeth (“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,” Matthew 5:44); leaving repayment to God.
Forgiveness is not: trust (trust is rebuilt by demonstrated change, not owed on demand); reconciliation (which requires two willing people); dropping legitimate legal claims; declining to testify truthfully; exposing your children or yourself to further harm; or pretending the wrong didn't happen.
You can forgive a person on Tuesday and truthfully oppose their motion on Wednesday. Someone who was robbed may forgive the thief and still ask the court to return the property. Forgiveness governs your heart toward the other party. It does not un-happen the facts, and it does not discharge the court's duty to divide property honestly or protect the children.